


Achin' for a breakin'

by peachykeensunandmoon



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: 50s Greasers, 50s Squares, 50s au, AU, Absent Parents, Billy Hargrove Needs a Hug, Bisexual Steve Harrington, Bullying, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Gay Billy Hargrove, Grease AU, Harringrove, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, Neil Hargrove Being an Asshole, Neil Hargrove's A+ Parenting, Oblivious Steve Harrington, Period-Typical Homophobia, Physical Abuse, Slight out of character, Slow Burn, Soft Billy Hargrove, Soft Steve Harrington, bad boy billy, square steve
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2021-02-13 14:49:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21496036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachykeensunandmoon/pseuds/peachykeensunandmoon
Summary: Steve Harrington awoke to the shrill sound of his alarm clock in his room and hit snooze for the hundredth time that morning, trying to fall back into a dreamless sleep.…Meanwhile, in another household on the South side of suburban Hawkins, another teenage boy woke up to the sound of heavy hammering on his wooden door, the hinges feeling as if they'd fall off at any moment.Those two teenagers never crossed paths,until today …
Relationships: Carol/Tommy H. (Stranger Things), Jonathan Byers/Nancy Wheeler, Joyce Byers/Jim "Chief" Hopper, Steve Harrington/Billy Hargrove
Comments: 5
Kudos: 69





	1. The Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fanfiction so bare with me, but I had to write it about these two, if you liked it leave kudos or comments :) I'm still working on this chapter sooo I'm sorry it's so short ;) 
> 
> have a great day :)) :D

Steve Harrington awoke to the shrill sound of his alarm clock in his room and hit snooze for the hundredth time that morning, trying to fall back into a dreamless sleep.

He was used to the house being desolate, because his parents were never around, ever.

But he is not used to the small town of Hawkins, Indiana. His family very recently moved here because his father was offered a position as a senior partner in a law office. 

Steve heaves his sleep deprived body drowsily out of bed to shuffle over to his bathroom. 

Scanning his face he looked for things he liked, but couldn't find anything even remotely remarkable. From his gangly frame to his comically huge eyes.

He loathed looking into the mirror.

Brushing his teeth quickly and rinsing his face he rushes away from the mirror.

Back in the room a 16-year old distraught Steve Harrington looks at the Marilyn Monroe poster plastered above his headboard. This doesn't make him feel any better, he’d much rather stare at the James Dean picture hidden underneath the bed in a secret shoe box that has never seen the light of day.

Steve sighs and makes his way downstairs into the empty kitchen. He pours himself a bowl of milk and cereal and starts munching on his breakfast with a gloomy expression. Oftentimes he pondered if there was any other boy with the same inclination as him. If any other boy fantasizes about James Dean instead of Natalie Wood.

He wishes there was.

Disheartened he steps out into the cold autumn air of the first September weeks, pulling his jacket closer and briskly walking to his car.Turning on the engine with a tremor in his hand he pulled the Mercedes of his dad out of the garage to yet another new school for the year.Steve is wearing beige cotton twill pants and a baby blue polo sweater with tennis shoes. He tried to make an effort for his first day and thinks he did a good job.

As he drove along the streets of the town, he thought about the people in this school, would they be nice to him and how long would it take them until they found out about his secret.He arrives quickly because it's a small town. Then he shakily gets out of his car and walks briskly towards the entrance of the school building.

* * *

Meanwhile, in another household on the South side of suburban Hawkins, another teenage boy wakes up to the sound of heavy hammering on his wooden door, the hinges feeling as if they fall off at any moment. Quickly Billy Hargrove got up to get ready for a regular school-day. He too dragged his feet inside the bathroom, the only one in the house, to brush his teeth. But he was in much more of a haste than Steve, the bruise from the day before still stinging. He quickly returned to his room to get dressed in a white T-shirt on top his black leather jacket, paired with blue jeans, finally to hide his shiner he put on his shades and walked out of his room. He grabs a piece of toast and hurries out the door to his midnight blue Chevy Camaro. His only hope in this small town. He is already late to class and it's the first day of the school year. But this was not unusual for the greaser Billy Hargrove.

_Those two teenagers never crossed paths,_

_until today …_


	2. The first day, shower incidents and  a guilty conscience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve meets Billy and events occur...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :)) 
> 
> Please leave kudos if you like this story I'll try to upload frequently. Feedback and suggestions are also very appreciated :D

Driving with the radio blaring, he feels better and less caged, than in the run down house he lives in.  
When he arrives at his high school, his friends, Tommy H. and Carol await him in the parking lot smoking a deck of Luckies. He greets them leaning on Tommy’s car, who offers him a cigarette while Carol is talking about something. 

”Haven’t you heard the news? There will be a new student in our class this year, the girls have told me that he's a right square!“

She is laughing obnoxiously, or so Billy thinks.  
Carol is one of the popular girls. She and Tommy H. have been going steady since the 7th Grade, but if you'd ask Billy he’d describe her as fast and easy.  
Focussing back on the conversation before him, he looks to Tommy H. whom he'd known since he could remember. Their fathers are old friends that sometimes drink together. 

“ Johnny Dee saw him the other day at the grocery store with his mom, he dropped the shopping basket because he heard a loud noise, I bet it was such a gas! This new kid is gonna be a candy ass.”

Tommy rambles on about a party that happened the weekend before…

“I swear man this party was crazy, someone broke the pool table. “

Billy laughs along with his friends, and silently wonders who this new guy is. He feels sorry for the guy, because he hadn't even talked to them and they are already getting a tickle out of his misfortune in the supermarket. But Billy brushes that thought away quickly and pretends to listen to the greasers who keep on babbling about everything and anything.

They decide to head to class, seeing it’s starting this minute. Billy kicks his leg off of the car, flicks away his cigarette and makes a start for the entrance, his friends following closely behind. In the classroom the math teacher looks at Billy and his companions disapprovingly and tells them to take their seats quickly. 

Billy approaches his usual seat, but something is off. 

Someone sitting in it, a new kid. 

Billy has never seen him before. The boy looks up dumbstruck and scared. With big brown doe eyes and a puzzled expression. He has messy hair and very clean kept clothes Billy notes. The blue polo shirt and sweater complimenting his pale skin tone and thin but muscular frame. 

He seems just too cute… 

Billy thinks, but quickly diverts his mind from going in that direction. 

He just couldn’t… he wouldn't …What would his Father say? … 

He’d beat him black and blue, before Billy could even finish the thought. 

Neil Hargrove is a man with a stone cold heart, if he even has a heart to begin with.  
The shiner on his right cheek standing as a reminder, stinging more than just seconds ago.  
Rolling his eyes, his face hardens as he puts up his tough guy front. He spits out

“You’re in my seat !“

With as much venom as he can muster, glaring expectantly at the confused boy. He doesn't move a muscle so Billy adds with more force 

“Get bent!”

Hustling to his feet, the boy anxiously scans the room for any other free seats. While gathering all of his belongings, his books slip out of his fingers and hit the ground noisily.  
Billy sits down in the seat and watches him collect his things with shaking hands and trembling lips. When he torments the innocent guy Billy’s heartstrings pull at him. His father always talked about real men not being weak or emotional, so no one can know about Billy being kind or understanding. Still he wants to help the new kid pick up his books. 

“Are you quite finished Hargrove, I’d like to start my lesson!”

The math teacher gives Billy a pointed look and turns to Steve, who is standing in the middle of the classroom now.  
She clears her throat 

“Now that everyone is here, I can introduce a new student for this year his name is Steve Harrington. Steve why don't you tell the class a little about yourself ? And then well continue the class, there is a free seat in the back.”

Steve is flushing and greets the class shyly. He’s from New York he says and transferred, because of his fathers work. Not saying anything else he takes his seat in the far back hiding his face behind his floppy chestnut hair. 

“Thank you Steve ! We will study the basic algebra formula to …”

As Billy drifts off, his mind wanders to soft hair, soft eyes and a certain boy named Steve. 

Daydreaming is dangerous for Billy, because he imagines things he can never have and events that will never happen. Because instead of getting to like girls, making out with them in the backseat of his chevy, he gets to fantasise about wanting boys, while drowning in self pitying misery, knowing nothing will or can ever happen. Not with his father always around. He dares to turn around one time. One time can’t hurt he tells himself. But he's wrong, when he turns around, sad brown eyes are already glancing at him. Steve quickly diverts his gaze in another direction. Still when their eyes met Billy felt something tug at his heart, now he feels kind of dizzy and breathless. 

Why is such a small moment affecting him this way?  
He reminds himself again that he doesn’t, he can’t like other boys this way.  
Why would he look at me like that ? Wasn't Billy direct enough so he would stay away ? 

Billy’s mind is plagued with a bad conscience, nevertheless he has to keep his reputation up and play the part.

Suddenly a piece of paper is thrown onto his desk:

meet us in the boys locker room between 1st and 2nd period we have a surprise ;)  
-Tommy 

Stomach churning he looks at Tommy and Johnny Dee, who share a look of mischief and malice directed at the new kid. Oh how Billy wishes he wouldn't have to see the surprise, it cant be good. 

The lesson continues while Billy keeps tuning in and out he waits for the lesson to end so he can catch a break and smoke a cigarette during the break. The shrill sound of the school bell startles him, but he covers it up with a cough. He grabs his books and heads to his locker. His next class is English, Billy always loved reading, his mother read to him when he was a child. Stories about adventures, love, friendship or anything really. Thats why reading makes Billy feel like his mother is still with him, it’s a way to feel closer to her.  
His father has always been suspicious, telling Billy that no good can come of too much reading, he claims Billy will become too soft and emotional. In his opinion men who cried were weak, cowards or fairies.  
Billy fears his father, not just his insults, but his fists, which he used all too often. 

Startled he remembers the note in his pocket from math class.  
Oh shit he thought what if they already got to Steve and were torturing him in the bathroom and Billy could not do any damage control.  
He ran to the boys locker room and was met by a gang of greasers including Tommy and Johnny cornering a clothed, but soaking wet Steve Harrington. The shower is running and Steve is trembling, probably more out of fear than from the cold. The situation makes Billy’s stomach churn but at least Steve doesn't seem physically hurt. Billy remembers who he's supposed to be and joins in with a heavy heart. 

“Think fast !”

He throws a towel at Steve’s head because he doesn't know what else to do that wouldn't hurt Steve. It lands on the ground in front of Steve and soaks up the water from the bottom of the shower. That earns Billy snickers from the other guys. Then the bell rings and the guys run away with wicked laughter. Billy lets himself fall behind to make sure Steve will be okay. 

The moment Billy turns back to Steve, he's met by the accusatory tone of Steve’s chattering teeth and demanding voice. 

“What’s the matter with you guys ? I haven't even done anything ? Wha-?”

“Look newbie get with it this isn’t even the worst they've done, and they will do it again so just try to avoid us greasers, were no good” 

Stressing his warning he hands Steve a dry towel and looks at him with a cutting gaze. Billy really hopes Steve takes his advice otherwise he's going to have to keep seeing Steve with his big sad eyes and anguished expression. Without saying anything else he heads out of the locker room and slams the door. He leaves Steve behind with a solemn expression. 

…


	3. tiny rooms and drenched clothes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading this story
> 
> :) 
> 
> If you liked reading this kudos are dearly appreciated <3  
Leave a comment if you want to. 
> 
> hope you have a nice day :D 
> 
> PS: Can't get enough of these two idiots, I'm so excited to see the next season

…

The shrill sound of the bell rings through the halls again, indicating that the next class is starting.  
Steve shuffles around for a bit, awkwardly tugging his wet polo shirt away from his torso. He sets on, getting his gym clothes from his locker, but then he remembers that he doesn't even have his gym clothes here, because it’s the first day in this shitty new school.  
Polo shirt still clinging to his body, he uses Billy’s towel to dry his face from the unwanted shower, in a sad attempt to feel more dry. Then he walks to his locker. On his way over there the hallways feel eerily quiet, he can feel goosebumps on the back of his neck. Soaked to the bone he grips his books for the next class. 

Suddenly he feels a strong hand tightly gripping his thin wrist and pulling him towards a janitors closet. Before he can even react a hand is covering his mouth, preventing him from protesting loudly.  
Inside it feels cramped and his face heats up in the dim lit closet, a mop is uncomfortably sticking into his side, that will probably leave a bruising mark. When he looks up he comes face to face once again with none other than Billy Hargrove. Steve is getting kind of fed up with his stupidly beautiful eyes and cheeky grin ever so present on his face. 

“Harrington, wait I-I wanna help you! Please don't yell at me when I remove my hand… listen to me.”

Drops of water from his hair keep falling to the floor. Breathless Steve gazes at his feet when the hand covering his mouth is lowered, now he questions if Billy is actually bipolar. His mood swings would suggest that Steve’s assumption is correct. 

Why they’re in this tiny room way too close together? He doesn’t know. Dizzy and flustered is what he’s feeling.

“When I saw you standing there in the showers I felt bad…you don't know these people like I do if they saw me being nice to you… I don't know … they would make the wrong connection and that wouldn't be good for the both of us. These greasers stick together and make fun of everyone who is not them…” 

"Hey… Hey… Hey! wait… “ Steve interrupts him irritated getting louder.  
“what are we doing in the fucking janitors closet then?” he continues infuriated.

“well I figured that… that you'd be cold … and wet … so-so I brought you dry clothes, you don't have to take them I-”

Billy must see the bewildered expression on his face, that is why he keeps on rambling about the reason he got dry clothes for Steve. He doesn't get far with his explanation though. Steve puts his hand up and he shuts his mouth and looks expectantly at him. 

“Well if you can't be nice to me just because of your friends, you should think about getting better friends! “

Steve is annoyed by the whole scenario, the fact that he is too close to Billy, and that he can smell cigarette smoke, cologne and leather far too clearly. Billy shoves a pair of shorts and a crew neck sweater in his hands. Steve looks unimpressed by the choice because …

“It’s fucking 42 degrees outside if I put this on, the likelihood that I’ll get sick is equal to the way I'm dressed now. Whatever just cut out so I can get changed.”

Eyeing Billy he expects him to get out however the other stays put without moving a muscle and is looking back at him perplexed. He seems to have some kind of long inner conflict so Steve lashes out and angrily asks him what he’s still doing in the room. The response is: 

“What’s the matter? I mean we're both boys, so it’s not anything I haven't seen”

“Nothing, its just-”

“Steve… I can’t just walk out right now! It’s the middle of the break, and everyone will be in the hallway, think how weird this looks from the outside, especially if you get out minutes after me, in my fucking clothes.”  
“by the way, I can't turn around even if I wanted to”

Blue eyes clash with brown ones. Billy’s pleading gaze coaxes him into agreeing, that it would seem weird. 

“So what do you suggest we do? There is like a square foot of space to move inside here and I can't even move my arms”

At this point Steve is exasperated so he talks very frantically, he is also freezing cold and miserable. Looking at Billy he expects him to turn around.  
Billy thinks for a moment and then says:

“Harrington you're exaggerating it’s all right, look you can move at least enough to get changed ” 

For emphasis he moves his arm but knocks it right into Steve’s shoulder, apologetic he lowers it again and just gives up. He shrugs embarrassed. 

Steve is panicked, he can’t… Billy is here, too close for comfort, way too close, so close that Steve could just touch their noses together if he leaned forward. How is he not going to die ?  
Billy was mean to him, he is friends with the bullies still somehow he is helping him and when it's just him and Steve he doesn't seem half bad, It is not helping that he's such a dreamboat. Steve sighs defeatedly and pulls his polo over his head shivering as he does so. He reluctantly looks at Billy, whose eyes are closed out of courtesy, Steve is glad. He also feels overly aware of himself and how close Billy’s chest is. He feels his Billy’s breathing out a puff of air in his face and hears soft breaths coming from in front of him. Steve starts to put on the sweatshirt.

Drenched from head to toe in water, lightheaded, too hot, too cold and embarrassed…he can't handle this.

His gaze returns to Billy’s eyes, they are open and looking right back into his own! 

With a raw throat he roughly whispers to Billy asking what he thinks he is doing but gets no reply. Instead the other just closes his eyes again. Letting out another hot breath of air. Steve lifts his arms and feels the soft fabric of the crewneck sweatshirt sitting lightly by his throat. Quickly he changes out of his chinos, into the shorts, not without knocking his knees against Billy’s leg. 

His hair is still wet and curling loosely over his forehead. Brushing it behind his ear with a shaky hand, he inquires if those are billy's clothes he's wearing, but he knows they belong to Billy, cause he told him. But even more so because they smell like him, driving Steve insane. Billy flushes only ever so slightly, Steve doesn't notice. He says:

“They’re mine but don't tell anyone or you’re getting a real knuckle sandwich” 

He delivered the line with a small genuine smile, so Steve isn't really worried. Giddy would be a more appropriate term to describe him right now. 

Steve is still distraught though, because Billy will stop acting civil as soon as their out of the tiny janitors closet, and he's pretty sure Billy is as straight as a pole. 

They look at each other and start talking

“You can be-“

“You know I’ll-“

“You go first” Billy says 

“no you can go first“ Steve insist 

“Just start talking Harrington!” Billy says annoyed by the senseless back and forth between them.

“I was just gonna say that you can be really nice when you're not pretending to be an ass for other peoples peace of mind” 

Steve shakes his head a little sadly. 

“Yeah I try not to be an ass all of the time” he looks down sheepishly ”but I’ll actually try to get them off your back. I’m not so sure how I’ll do it but I'll think of something” 

“Why ?” 

Steve is genuinely curious, why would this guy he's known for a day, who is friends with the bullies try to protect him from taunting. 

“I-I don’t … I mean… It’s just the right thing to do… I mean what's with the questions” he trails off awkwardly scratching his neck. 

“Well if you don't agree with the others, then why are you friends with those people?”

“Its difficult to explain… you won't understand…so just drop it, I’ll get them out of your hair, just stop talking about it!”

Steve felt that he shouldn't push his luck, one last question burning on his mind. 

“So what are you going to do when we’re out of here and you're with your so-called friends?”

“I don’t know okay?I don't know …”

Steve mood deflates, the bell rings and he sees this as his sign to get the hell out of this tiny room to his next class. He grabs the doorknob and starts to turn it when Billy’s hand halts him in the movement. 

“I’m sorry okay? Please don't hate me? I’ll figure all this out but not right now. Just try to avoid us”

Steve hears the sincerity in his voice, nods slightly and heads out into the now empty hallway.  
He continues walking to his next class, feeling very saddened by the way his new school year seems to be going. Wondering what he would do if he was just like any other guy with nothing to hide and a caring family? Without a confusing, moody and very attractive blonde troublemaker making his day even weirder. 

Steve shrugs off his messenger bag and slumps down in his seat at the very far left back corner of the history classroom. Over the course of the next class he falls asleep on his desk.  
Agitated the teenager awakes startled. Shrill ringing on the bell waking him from a dreamless sleep. His hand shoots up to rub his temple and he gets out of the class as fast as he can. 

The hallway is crowded during the next break most people hurrying to get to their next class. Some girls Steve saw in his first class today pass him by with curious gazes, giggling to each other. He walks with his head down, his hair falling messily over his forehead, cautiously trying to avoid the gang of greasers, not to attract attention. 

Suddenly muscular arms lift him up and throw him into the lockers with a harsh push, he stumbles to the ground. His backpack flies a few feet away, everything scattering on the bleak linoleum floors. He gets back up to see the guys that pushed him. He only sees their backs as they run away laughing. This was going to be a hard year if he was going to see them every day. 

At least they hadn't found about his secret.

4 pm the same day 

He is just about to close his locker when he hears boots hitting the floor down the hall from him. It is Billy Hargrove and his friends again. Steve can't understand why they hate him so much - is it because he's new or is there another reason for it? He simply can't fathom what he did to make them bully him. The footsteps approach and come to a stop right behind Steve. He hears a very high pitched squeal of delight from a ginger girl 

“Hey new Kid! What happened to your clothes? Did you flush them down the toilet, where they came from ?”

Billy grinned smugly face contorted in a sneer probably to not seem suspicious. Steve just sighs, ignores the comment and tries to carry on packing his messenger bag to get the hell out of the school. Somehow this other guy Steve distantly remembers, that his name started with a T, won’t have that and shoves his shoulder hard, making Steve lurch forward right with his head into the locker. He can feel his eye throbbing from the pain, feeling even worse than earlier in the day he closes his locker quickly and turns around. 

Surprised by the proximity of ocean blue eyes he stumbles backwards now with his back leaning against the locker. Billy grabs the collar of his shirt and feigns the action of lifting him up by his shirt. The grip itself is soft and careful though, Steve notices. For a second they stare at one another without uttering a sound. 

Then Billy leans over and mock whispers loudly, so that everyone can still hear, into his ear: 

“Make sure we don't see you around too often or were really gonna split your wig pretty boy!”

One last shove and Billy struts off with his friends on his tail. Steve sighs once more and leans defeated against the cold hard metal of the lockers. Reaching up with his hand and rubbing his eyes he tries to prevent tears out of frustration building up. Accidentally he slightly grazes the tender bruised part above his eye, he winces feeling the pain throb heavily, it almost makes him stagger on the spot. Steve thinks about how hard it will be to his this huge painful bruise the next morning in school. 

Leastways he won’t have to hide it from his parents seeing they are never around to notice anything about their son.  
Steve trudges to the school entrance and walks to his car where he opens up the door and gets inside. All his composure leaves his body when he closes the door and his eyes start to water and soon enough he feels hot tears streaming down his face, making his vision blurry. Steve just feels completely alone. He looks at himself in the rearview mirror only to see a heavy hearted and very red faced version of himself staring back at him with empty eyes. Steve thinks about how pathetic he must look this second and regains his composure. He wipes his eyes and runs a hand through his dishevelled hair, which is sticking up in every direction. Then he turns the key with an unsteady hand and starts the car up. 

On the drive back home he can’t get deep blue eyes out of his head. One minute he warns Steve almost worriedly and the second he treats him almost like his friends do. There must be something behind his ambivalent mood.  
The other students in his pack seemed even worse to Steve. 

Still driving he frets about his secret being exposed. He fears that the greasers can somehow see it, that he's different from other boys. 

He hopes they can’t ! 

Because if they knew he would surely get much worse treatment than with just the speculation. Steve decides that he won’t let them treat him this way. Next time he sees them he is really going to speak his mind. He will have to appear tougher to get the upper hand over the greasers. But that thought quickly is replaced by disbelief, because who is he kidding? They won’t leave him alone.


	4. group projects and unusual conversations.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy has a hard time sleeping, and an even harder time keeping away from Steve Harrington. English class does not help his situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovely people, 
> 
> I hope you like the story so far!  
this is my first fanfic so constructive criticism is appreciated <3  
I'm also happy about comments or kudos ;)
> 
> ok soo this is the chapter have fun reading 
> 
> I can't thank each and every one of you enough for even reading my little story. 
> 
> have a great day <3<3<3

Friday  
4:00 am 

Billy has been awake for hours, he just can’t sleep, his mind running a million miles an hour. He tried reading, pacing his room, smoking one…two…three cigarettes, even tried exercising to tire his body out, but he can’t go back to sleep. He thinks about everything and nothing. 

5:00 am 

He decides to shower and get ready for the day, seeing no reason to wallow in self pity any longer. If Billy made too much noise while getting ready, woke anyone in the house his calm morning would be over and he can’t let that happen. His head hurts and he feels uncomfortable 

7:30 am 

Driving to School early he listens to his favourite music, the perpetual greyness of the sky, a real downer in Billy’s opinion, hasn't changed a bit in the last two weeks.

He remembers blue skies, feeling the heat of the sun on his face.  
His feet in the salty water, then he remembers a harsh hand grabbing his upper arm,  
He remembers being dragged into the car and driving him straight to this suburban nightmare called Hawkins, Indiana.  
He remembers the way he felt when they got to dull grey streets littering the town and more rain than he’d had his whole life in California. 

He was only 5 when they moved and can’t remember much from that time. Somehow he has this particular memory stuck inside his head. He also remembers Tommy in first grade, being one of the first kids to approach him on the playground swings. He asked Billy if he wanted to be pushed so he could go higher while swinging. After that they became inseparable. More recent memories with Tommy resurface in his mind, he’s changed by high school into nothing like the boy he met on the swings. A mean teenager, more concerned with the superficiality of popularity than with being a real friend and caring about people just because thats the right thing to do. Billy fears he will change the same way, he wonders if he already has. 

Without noticing how he drove there, Billy arrives in the parking lot of Hawkins High still empty, except for the cool morning air and silence. Being alone with all this time on his hands, his mind drifts back to a certain someone present in his sleepless thoughts.  
It has been 4 days since he lent Steve his clothes, he hadn't seen the other boy around that much, but he noticed he always had his head down, or stuck in a locker. He keeps wondering what Steve is doing. Trying to rid himself of irritating thoughts he heads towards the bleachers so he can smoke in peace. 

2:00 pm  
History class 

The next class feels unimportant at the moment for him. Even though it shouldn’t, because his Dad doesn't accept failures like bad grades from his son. He sits unmoved and sparsely participating in his history class. He tries so hard to get the best marks in all his classes. He is pretty smart, although his father doesn't seem to think the same. That is why he has to be even better than just good, he has to be the best in his grade. Even while his father is drunk on the armchair in the living room, lit by the dim lighting of the TV which is never shut off. 

Right now Billy is focused on someone else than himself for a change. Memories of brown hair dripping with the water from the showers, curling on Steve’s forehead had made him look too soft almost untouchable last time they talked. His baby blue polo shirt clung to his body, a shivering mess when he scolded Billy on and on about what kind of assholes his friends and himself are. But Billy was too distracted by the other boys movements and face to focus on his hysterical rambling.

3:30 pm  
English class

Mrs. Fletcher introduces the new topic of Poetry right this moment. Now Billy already has to think about how he will manage to do his homework without Neil calling him names, it doesn't even matter that this would be for a school project, Billy has been Neil’s punching bag since the thing with his mother happened and now he just lets all the frustration boiling on the inside out, on Billy. 

Neil's words are in his head, he just can't escape the constant angry disappointment plaguing his thoughts. English is too mushy, too wordy, girls are emotional and think too much about things, real men suck it up when something happens to them and just keep on going.  
Fading back into the present Billy hears:

“Now listen up I will read out Shakespeare's Sonnet number 18 out for you and you will try to analyse what Shakespeare means with his lines. Later on this lesson well do a project which will count for 20% of your grade at the end of the year. But for now we’ll start with something easy, okay?”  
She claps her hands twice and then opens her book and starts reciting the Poem. 

“Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?  
Thou art more lovely and more temperate” 

Cynthia who is sitting in the front raises her hand excitedly. She is a pretty girl, popular as well but not really that close with the friend group of Billy. The teacher calls on her and she speculates what the line could be about, even though this is the easiest part of the poem. 

“Well, he says that his Lover is better than a great summer day and he loves her very much.” Satisfied with her answer she smiles smugly while looking at Billy, who shudders visibly and cringes very hard, he looks away uncomfortably.

The poem continues:

“Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,  
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:  
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,  
And often is his gold complexion dimm’d” 

Another girl answers and Billy just tunes out because he really can’t bring himself to care that much. He considers faking sick, because he actually enjoys Shakespeare and doesn't want the words tainted by noisy high school girls, who think he is attractive.

“And every fair from fair sometime declines,  
By chance, or nature's changing course, untrimm’d;  
But thy eternal summer shall not fade  
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow’st” 

This time someone else speaks up.  
All eyes zeroed in on the flustered nervous voice in the back, seemingly embarrassed to speak up. 

“ I believe that he says his lovers inner and outer beauty and li-liveliness will never fade no matter h-how much time passes.” 

Turned all the way around in his shitty desk, almost spraining his neck, Billy hangs on to every word Steve utters. The stuttering mess he is completely captivates Billy’s every thought process - of fucking course it is resident pretty boy Steve who looks just so soft and sleepy. They lock eyes, big brown ones fleeing the contact first. Billy feels a strange twisting sensation in his stomach. Continued reading of the poem ensures.

“Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,  
When in eternal lines to time thou grow’st;  
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,  
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee. “

He raises his hand in an attempt to participate in class, all eyes on him a cold sweat runs down his spine.  
“The lyrical persona says the poem will survive generations and therefore the beauty and shine of his lover never shall pass, ‘So long lives this,’poem’ and this gives life to thee’ he immortalises his love.”

A feeling that someone is looking at him is making him curious. He turns his head slightly back and is met with a gaze so unexpectedly warm it feels too real. He looks away as if he hadn't seen the look from Steve.  
He wants to apologise to him and ditch lunch with Tommy and Carol to talk to him. The couple is probably busy anyway with snogging and other stuff, Billy does not want to imagine. 

“Billy, that was a great analysis! I never knew you were so in tune with poetry” Mrs. Fletcher beamed as if she’s seen the prodigy of the century. Billy’s cheeks are burning and he looks down onto his table. He never knows what to say to positive comments from people, its probably not even true and she only says this to make him feel better. He sighs.  
The bell rings indicating class time is over but Mrs Fletcher speaks up:

"Now class I just need your attention for a little while longer I’m sorry but this is important. The project I have planned for you will be about Drama or Poetry and you can pick the topic yourselves but please keep in mind this is english class. I don't want nonsense themes discussed here. And because you have the freedom of choosing the topic I will assign the groups for you. And they will not be changed after I did so. When I call your name I want you to pair up with the partner I tell you

Cynthia Anderson and Lisa Allen  
Robert Brown and Deborah Baker …” 

She keeps calling on people that are not him so he tunes out for a bit. After 5 other groups are announced he hears his own name. 

“Billy Hargrove and Steve Harrington”

His head snaps up to the teacher with a pleading look to put him in another group for the project but she doesn't pay his misery any mind, just keeps on calling on people in the class. Then he sighs and looks toward Steve who is already hovering in his vicinity looking unsure how to approach him.  
Billy just scoffs at the hesitancy of the other, smirks and waves him over with a loose movement of his arm. Steve approaches him with uncertainty in his eyes and careful observation. 

“Richard Jenkins and Linda Johnson” 

The teachers voice fading into the background with the other noise of the students 

Billy feels vulnerable and doesn’t know what to say first but he tries anyway. 

“Hi so, uhh what topic do we want our project to be on ?”  
Steve rubs his neck awkwardly with his hand and tilts his head to the side with a sheepish expression, he answers almost unintelligible and too quickly. 

“IdunnoI‘mnotreallygoodinenglishclass, you can choose ” He finishes weakly his eyes on the ground. 

Billy has to laugh at that because it is hilarious to see the other so visibly uncomfortable and he secretly likes how flustered and cute Steve looks but he's not allowed to think that way. 

“ Uhmm.. okay i thought we could present a play maybe from Shakespeare, I can look into which ones are nice and interesting to read. Don't worry I wont choose something boring as hell alright?” 

Billy tries to sound most friendly and non threatening, he genuinely wants to be his friend. Steve seems like a good guy and he wants the other’s life to be easier not harder.  
Steve looks irritated, he eyes Billy suspiciously and slowly nods. 

Class is ending, so Billy packs his things. Meanwhile Steve stands by his desk wringing his head for words to reply to Billy.  
“Hey umm… like when do you wanna work on the project ? I’d like to start pretty soon because I think I’ll need some more time to get the text than you..”

He trails off and looks at Billy like he expects a laugh or mocking. Billy gets it. He gets the feeling when you don't feel good enough and he can't laugh at him for that, he doesn't want to. So he pats Steve’s shoulder lightly and lets his hand rest for a moment longer. They share a look and he says:

“No worries I’ll find a play and we can meet sometime this week and we’ll work on it. That alright preppy?”

Then he overdoes it with a wink and sees Steve’s face go rigid and red. 

Voice too high to be his normal tone he answers:

“That is good..yes. Just tell me when you've got something we can work on.”

He heads to the door. He wants to keep speaking to Steve to make amends but fears he would spill too much truth.  
His heart beats too quickly for a normal conversation with a normal guy. He is struggling to hold back words threatening to spill from his lips, to keep talking to the other boy.


	5. new friends, movies and unlucky events.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve struggles to get around his new school and he makes new friendships and acquaintances in the first weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovely readers, 
> 
> this new chapter is hopefully not too bad, as always I am super grateful to anyone reading and liking it. Leave a comment if you have any thoughts about this at all. 
> 
> I hope your day is great or will be !:))
> 
> <3<3

It’s the nearing the end of the second week at his new school and except for the bullying greasers Steve got along okay with his peers. Probably because his family comes from old money, the people in Hawkins care about wealth and social standing so much that everything else is irrelevant. 

He met some pretty decent people though. A girl named Nancy introduced herself and her boyfriend Jonathan they helped him find his way to his classes and hung out with him during lunchtime.  
Nancy is a petite girl with long brown curly hair and a very pretty face, she has cool blue eyes. Her boyfriend is average in height but super lanky, he looks like he's sick in that pothead way, so it still looks kind of cool. His stare could be perceived as weird because his eyes seem to look black even though they are dark brown. 

Another girl he met on Tuesday when he had math class seemed super friendly, her name is Robin Buckley. She is 5’9”, has dirty blonde hair and very crystal blue eyes with a kind expression. In class she immediately started doing the tasks given to them but she did it while easily conversing with Steve. Like it was the easiest thing in the world, Steve was in awe at how she could multitask like that. 

“I can’t believe you're so smart! I wouldn't be able to do that if I just concentrated on the math for hours.”  
Steve uttered quietly so the teacher wouldn't scold him for chitchatting. 

“ I seem to have a knack for numbers, I can help you out if you are behind on this topic” she proposed and continued her equations nonchalant. 

“I’m not just behind on this topic! I can assure you I don't know how any math works.” He admitted embarrassed. 

“Not everyone can be a genius like me. But I’ll manage not being defeated in my personal knowledge” She joked with a wink.

After class when most people already left she held out her hand and said:  
“Pleasure to meet you I'm Robin, Robin Buckley!” she wrongly intimidated Sean Connery in James Bond, Steve had to laugh at her bad joke and shook her hand as well. He replied: 

“I’m Steve Harrington, nice to meet you too, and I just have to say it, you're one of the nicest people, that I met at this school.”  
After shaking hands Steve took his hand away and grabbed his things. Meanwhile she told him they could hang out together if he wanted and that she just recently bummed some weed of the potheads in school. She didn't seem the type but what would Steve know, he only talked to like four people in the entire week he's been at this high school. Admittedly he has talked to more people but those conversations were only about school and very non personal.

“That’s cool I’d love to hang out with you!" he tried to sound not too enthusiastic and like he hasn't got anyone to hang out with. 

“ All right, it’s a date” she quietly laughed and then went out of the classroom. It was this moment when he noticed they hadn't exchanged their home numbers or anything so he hoped they could get together after school sometime. 

That was on Tuesday and since then they talked almost everyday. What he noticed though is that she seemed to dress just like the greasers that have given him a hard time since the beginning, he doesn't have a problem with greasers as long as they leave him whole and not shoved into a locker at lunchtime, he swears this only happened one time. But he can’t kid himself. 

It is now Thursday and he still hadn't heard anything from Billy regarding their project in English and he is getting fidgety and on edge, fearing they will fail their grade with the project. 

Added to this he feels super tired from thinking about his why his parents were never home. He worries about his school work, and the bullies from school, who just won’t leave him be. He simply doesn't know how to avoid them when he's at school, they find out where he is like they have a sixth sense. 

On Wednesday when he was done showering after PE he got dragged by his dripping hair to the bathroom stalls, as he remembers it was 3 guys, one gripping his head the other opening the stall door and the last one pressing on his back so he leant over the toilet bowl. Then they stuck his head into the toilet and almost drowned him.

“Huh how do you like that Soc doesn't feel too good being treated like trash just because of your daddy’s money ?” This very unnecessary comment came from the one and only Tommy H, whose face was contorted in disgust and anger. 

“I have never done anything to put you lot down or badmouth you!” Steve a panting mess pleaded with tears brimming behind his eyes, that dared to spill over his cold cheeks. 

“ I don’t care how much money you got! I just want you to leave me alone, please” 

His pleading and begging continued until they dropped him and left him there in the stall, his tears fell the moment they were out of sight. He lifted his knees to his torso, laid his head on them and started to sob his heart out. He couldn't tell how much time has passed like that, it could've been a few minutes, or even some hours, he couldn't remember. 

Footsteps.

One, Two, Three, Four…

He couldn't bring himself to care who walked in on him like that. A voice began to speak. 

“Hello ? Is there someone in here. I heard crying I just wanted to know if you are okay?” Relief flooded Steve’s mind and he held back a sob threatening to spill, it was Robin. He wanted to cry harder, but coughed roughly instead and got up out of the stall. He tried to wipe his eyes with wet hands, but failed miserably, face more wet than before. 

When he finally began speaking his voice came out thick and hoarse from crying heavily. “I’m okay,… It’s nothing. Why are you in the mens bathroom? I don't think you're allowed to be here.” 

Her eyes almost bulged out of her head when she saw Steve’s puffy eyes and his shivering form. Worried eyes looked at him with motherly concern. She walked over to where the showers were and got the towels, Steve left on a bench somewhere. 

“Oh my god; Steve we have to get you some clothes and a towel, you're going to get sick! Who did this to you, we've gotta do something, like report them.You can’t let them get away with that. They could have seriously killed you”

“Its nothing I can't handle Robin. It was the Tommy H and Co. they hated me since I stepped foot in this town and I don't think that will change anytime soon. I don't want to report it, the teacher will just tell me to man up and be a tough guy.” 

“Who was with Tommy ? I will hurt them for what they did to you, you just wait” she boiled with anger and irritation. 

“I don’t know, I only saw Tommy, the rest is kind of blurry because they stuck my face in the toilet, my vision was pretty limited.” Steve scoffed and averted his gaze, he had goosebumps from standing in the cold air with just a towel. He walked shakily over to his locker where his clothes were and grabbed his chinos and a sweater. After he got dressed he gathered his belongings in his gym bag and made way for the exit. 

He uttered in a hopeless voice: “Robin you can’t pick a quarrel with these guys, they are dangerous!” Steve exclaims exasperated and looked at the girl incredulous. 

“Steve I’m from the South side I know how to handle these guys. I’m sad to say it but my brother is one of them. Relieved that he is not leading these knuckleheads, but sad he's a part of their gang nonetheless,” she sighed exasperated and looked at Steve with big sad eyes. That shocked Steve into silence and he looked at her for a quiet moment, he considered something. Finally opening his mouth he replied.

“Then maybe you can tell me what they've got against me, they said I was one of the Soc's and I’ve never spoken word to them-“ She cut him off abruptly.  
“Listen to me Steve, your family has a lot of money and on the South side the people have to fight everyday to stay afloat with how little money they've got, They envy your familial wealth and don't care that you haven't done anything, they do it as a matter of principle.” Defeated they looked at one another. They both got ready to leave and when they did Robin rubbed his arm emphatically with a hopeless shrug.

Steve shivers at the thought of that horrible memory clouding his mind. He's glad Robin is his friend and he desperately needs a friend with these guys following him around making his life hell. 

Today is Friday, Steve is feeling pretty good, he woke up before his alarm and got to sleep again which always feels great. It was warm underneath the covers with nothing threatening Steve, nothing to hurt him, nothing to make him feel scared to walk around school.  
His parents were still gone, for their business trip and weren't coming home anytime soon, that dimmed his mood when he thought of them but he shook it off hastily. 

7:30 am

Steve sits in his car his head bowed down so Tommy and his gang will leave him be. He silently wonders if Billy thought of a specific play for their english assignment yet. He feels like the other boy has avoided him and he contemplated approaching him himself, in spite of all the greasers chasing him wherever he goes. 

Another occurrence he noticed is that the so-called soc’s have made no move to talk or even acknowledge him so far. It doesn't seem like either party likes him very much, which is not surprising but still sad to see for him. He wouldn't have thought he would have it so rough in these first weeks. Luckily he's got Robin, she helps out the best she can and is a blast to be around. He's excited for their hangout tomorrow, its been quite some time since he's had a real friend he could actually hang out with. They just planned to go to the drive in theatre and smoke a few joints. They were both pretty exhilarated to be honest, they talked about the movie with James Dean “Rebel Without a Cause” since Robin discovered the poster one day on the way home from school.  
There are two different Drive-in-theatres in town, one on the South side near Robin’s home and one on the North side near Steve’s Parents Mansion. They agreed to go to the one near Robins House, because they just didn't have any connection to the rich people and didn't want the disruption cause by the Socs.  
They’d still have to be cautious, being as the greasers had it out for Steve.  
It was quite annoying having to manage all these unnecessary worries that have come up since they've only just begun having out. 

He’s been sitting here for a while waiting for robin to show up to school, she's riding the bicycle so it takes longer for her driving than Steve in his car, which he got when his parents had been away on a business trip for 4 months. He figures he could be worse off, and yet it stings a little when he thinks back on it. 

His car door opens in a swing and there she sits in his shotgun seat with a blinding grin. She's holding up two pieces of paper, Steve recognises as Tickets for tomorrow night.  
He feels bad because he should have brought them since his parents are the loaded ones. So he glances at her remorseful and speaks in a quiet voice: 

“You shouldn't have! You're way too good to me! How much do I owe you ?”

She just laughs shakes her head hair bouncing around her shoulders.

“Its fine you can just pay for the popcorn and snacks, I promise I will dig in !” her Cheshire grin back fully blown, he is relieved that the money part is a non-factor for a change. His other friends in the city were very superficial and self-centred, not really a good basis for friendships that you want to last. 

“Lets get to class Steve, you don't wanna be late do you!” she starts walking and looks over her shoulder expectantly and continues walking. 

“Sure, I just love walking into a place where half the people have it out for me and the other half doesn't even notice my existence. Oh and on top of that I don't even excel in this environment of academically successful people like my dear friend Robin.” 

He knows that his exaggeration is maybe a little too much but he's just in the mood for behaving theatrically. For good measure he lifts the back of his hand to his forehead and sighs dramatically. They are now standing in front of their lockers and Robin only lifts her eyebrow in a comical fashion. 

“Steve maybe they wouldn't be after you, if you weren't such a pussy and shouted things like that in school.” She quickly adds though: “Just kidding! My dear friend I don't think you're any less accomplished than any of the other guys here, at least you’re not one of the guys that only slack off because they can. Anyway now c’mon we have maths first let us not make the teacher wait.”

The end of maths class: 

“Steve I can't believe we survived this boring quadratic formula shit it was stale as shit!” She rolls her pencil around on her desk. “I have chemistry now so I wont be able to walk with you to your next class. I hope Tommy and his Friends don't jump you. Just be careful all right.” An earnest gaze meets his eyes when she gets up to put on her jeans jacket. He is alone now and the thoughts start buzzing again through his mind. Most of the time Steve feels anxious and on edge with too much energy. 

The crowded hallways are dull and it's a struggle to get to his own locker. By the time he gets there he's winded up and stressed, focusing on not forgetting where his next class takes place. His locker jams when he tries opening it. He hears a loud crack, which does not sound good at all. He hits his locker and the lock clicks after the third try. The door slams open and out falls a tiny note. 

hi steve  
As you like it  
Library 1pm during lunch  
\- b

Steve wills his mind to stay calm but he can’t shake the feeling of excitement mixed with dread.  
How does he know which one is my locker?  
Why does Steve not know what “as you like it”means?  
And why not just tell Steve himself?  
Why does he send cryptic secret notes? 

His head feels funny and he thinks the temperature in the hallway has gone up. Steve feels betrayed by his senses, he just wants to see Billy as his project partner, not as anything else.


	6. New plans and lunchtime homework.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy and Steve work on their projects and plans are made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi my lovelies, 
> 
> I hope you like this chapter. I tried to make it longer than the last one. Anyway I'm always open to suggestions and if you liked it leave a comment pls. 
> 
> Thanks for reading i hope you'll enjoy this one. 
> 
> Have a great day!

Contemplating will not solve his problem, however he has to work on this project with Steve whether he wants to or not. Otherwise they will both just end up failing, which is not an option for either of them.  
He’s got it all figured out all ready, or at least which play they'll present and analyse, it's called “As You Like It” written by Shakespeare, cause it’s the obvious choice for this class and Billy actually likes it. His love for reading has always been a hidden treasure locked away from everyone else, so that he can keep his reading untainted form all the shit that is going on in his shitty world.  
His father owns the mechanics workshop in town, that is why he also has to work there, his father says he has to learn responsibility and earn his living in the house. He's only seventeen but that’s the way it is at the Hargrove household. He’s got to do more than anyone else solely because his father says so. It sucks but what can Billy do, other than bending over backwards to the commands, to not get beaten to a pulp. He had every afternoon shift this week, thus the lack of time to work on English with Harrington. He feels guilty for abandoning their project the entire week. He wants to make it up to the other teen, hence the note he's writing to stick into his locker.  
He didn't want the note written too wordy, it would look like he’d put too much effort into writing it. But he shouldn't spend much time with Harrington, if Billy’s father found out about it he would not only beat Billy up, he would not stop at harming another boy, that just arrived in town.  
Billy will just have to control himself around Steve, so the other won't notice his gaze lingering on pink lips and flushed cheeks, when he's exercising during P.E . So he won't notice when blue eyes dwell on pale legs in gym shorts, won't notice the intense stare during recess that follows him down the hallway.  
Nobody can notice, so he tries to keep his eyes hard and his heart cold.

Today is unfortunately not his lucky day, so his resolve crumbles at the slightest vision of chestnut-brown hair and a glowing smile. Keeping his distance turns out being rather difficult since Harrington is around all the time, as though he follows wherever Billy goes, which is not possible. Steve is with Robin, she talks animated and gestures wildly with flailing arms. She is Matty’s little sister, he's one of Billy’s friends in the year above, a pretty uncomplicated guy. They live a few houses down the street from Billy. He never had a problem with her before, so it’s weird that when he sees them laughing and sitting in Steve’s car, smiling at each other, his stomach feels tight, there is a knot where one shouldn't be. Billy is getting mad at himself stalking the other boy, because he can’t like him, he doesn't even know the other that well. It is stupidly dangerous being so caught up in this little crush. A crush to Billy, a scandal to the town, a disgrace for his father. 

The Lavender Scare that is what people would call it, being gay is bad, “the homosexual menace” society denounces gay people. Billy swallows and his throat feels tight, his palms are sweaty. There are so many reasons why he should just pretend being straight, to protect himself. However it is hard to play pretend 24/7. The rest of the world seems to disagree that love’s supposed to be free. He wishes he was somewhere else more accepting of gay people. 

He wishes his heart skipped a beat when he’d see long hair on a girl with curves in all the right places, but it doesn’t. He doesn't want to kiss any girl, however he does want to run his hands over a flat chest, feel the hard planes of muscle beneath the skin. His dreams often wander to forbidden wishes. Afterwards Billy guiltily wakes up in cold sweat because of his father’s expectations. What he should do is chasing after girls at the passion pit, teasing them to get just a trifle of their attention. Instead he watches this one guy talk to girls, wishing he had any chance with him.

In a perfect world everything would work out and everyone would be happy. He'd get the guy and get out of this shitty town where nothing good ever happens. 

Hands clapping on his shoulder with a loud slap and an overly confident voice get him out of his thoughts. 

“We're going to the passion pit on Saturday, some new movie just came out and Carol insisted on all of us going, the boys are coming too so were counting on you too. The drinks are already bought! You coming or what ?” Tommy quips matter of factly then he grins at him lazily. 

Billy huffs and utters drily “Can I bum a smoke ?”

He doesn't acknowledge any of the things that he said. 

Lately he's been getting more and more annoyed around the gang, all they ever do is drink and party. Nothing is ever just about enjoying the moment, it’s only about getting wasted and which two people had the latest make-out session from school. Not that partying isn’t fun, but apart from that it’s either fights with other gangs or beating up the Soc’s that look at them the wrong way. 

“Man you haven't answered my question. Just come with us it will be awesome, I swear!” Tommy really presses Billy on this so he relents :

“Fine but can I have a cigarette or not?” groaning he agrees.

“Of course my man! Carol has been ranting the last few days about this movie, she heard the actors are great. Makes me wonder, I sometimes think I should be an actor, would get me all the ladies I want, seems like paradise huh?” 

Tommy smirks, then throws him the pack. 

Billy has to think about what to say that so he doesn't look suspicious, because girls just don't do it for him. He tries to come up with something but there's nothing. He never feels a spark like the one he felt when Harrington had talked to him, or just glanced at him from across the classroom.  
“Yeah seems like heaven. But you don't have time for the ladies with Carol around or did you forget about her so soon in your fantasy?” 

He throws in half heartedly and lights his cigarette while letting his gaze roam around the parking lot where Harrington and Robin are getting out of a car. They head over to the school's entrance. He smokes fast, always has, however now he's so fast he almost coughs his lungs right out, all that just so he can walk the hallway in the vicinity of Harrington. The preppy Soc really got under Billy's skin and he couldn't shake him off, wherever his thoughts go Steve is already there. 

He struts to the entrance with Tommy right on his heels nagging him:

“What the hell are you doing?! Chill out man it’s just school, we’ve still got time to hang before it starts…or are you going somewhere?…”

Tommy’s exasperated voice fades into the background he shrugs and counters with a non-committal answer: 

“Oh yeah, uhh… I've got some stuff I have to do … before class starts. I'll meet you in the classroom ok ?”

He continues his way into school with a plan to work with Steve and not get unwanted attention. He’s just got to sneak the note into the locker when the hallway is empty. It’s been hard with the people always being late to class but he manages, heart in his throat, breathing heavily. A small part can be blamed on the cigarette he smoked like he had one minute to live. The bigger part is the rush of adrenaline that comes with getting to talk to Steve today.  
Gladly him and Steve don’t have the same class first, otherwise he wouldn't be able to keep his eyes off of the athletic back and preppy clothes covering it. He spots his friends in their usual seats and his elated mood fades quickly. Don't get him wrong he likes some of them but mostly the unnecessary fighting with the soc’s is useless, it won’t make anyone richer or happier in the end. He took part in some of the fights between the North and the South side but he never enjoyed it. And yes for safety he got a blade tucked safely in his leather boots. Still he doesn't enjoy the feud going on between the riches and the less fortunate part of town.

Steve surprisingly doesn't pay any mind to where people come from, or what they own. He chooses to only surround himself with the underdogs, not the populars, even though he could have everything he wanted with his looks, money as well as his attitude. He is an enigma to Billy, that he desperately wants to solve. 

The note is now safely tucked into the locker and Billy can’t even wait until lunch hour arrives and he can privately speak to the boy and get to know more about him without lurking eyes of his greaser friends or Robin surrounding the other with careful protectiveness. He can’t contain his cheeky smile slipping on his lips as soon as he's in the next class for the day that awaits him. The strange looks from his friends seem far away for him with his emotions being all over the place. But what if Steve doesn't even get the note until lunchtime? Billy’s temporary happiness dims once again troubled by worrisome thoughts and anxiety. His legs bounce laden with excessive nervous energy. 

Only after several excruciating classes laced with anticipation and anxiety, is he allowed to hurry out of class and head to the quiet of the library. When he arrives the large room is fortunately empty because even geeks need time to eat between studying. He figures he can get comfortable at a table in the back corner where the English Literature section is. There they won't . 

So he greets Mrs. Walker, the old lady that has worked there for about a hundred years by the looks of it. Billy likes her, she reminds him of his grandmother when she was still alive, and she always gives him a book, that she thinks Billy might like and slips the book over like a well kept secret between the two. She is such a sweet old lady so Billy smiles at her with his trademark smirk and says:

“Hi Mrs.Walker, How are you today ? Do you have anything interesting to recommend ?”

Her face lights up at the mention of another recommendation and she rummages around in a drawer in the desk. She triumphantly fishes out a book, but it looks like a children's book. On the front cover is a lion and children that are riding it. Billy musters the book suspiciously, and then Mrs. Walker. She just shakes her head dismissing his attitude and hands him the book. She answers in a soft and content voice: 

“ I know that this book is for children, but you will enjoy it! That I promise, because imagination is not just limited to the minds of children. It would do most adults good to get out of their everyday lives and learn one or two things from a wise book like this.”

Billy runs his fingers over the well-worn book cover and reads: 

“The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe, A story for children by C. S. Lewis” 

he looks at the old lady in front of him with a glint in his eye and thanks her, then she heads over to an untidy book shelf and begins sorting though the variety of books meticulously. 

The second he hears a strange noise Billy holds his breath and hesitates to turn towards where the loud scraping of the door came from. He hears footsteps, slow and unsure. They approach the desk of the Librarian where Billy is standing. Billy turns around and his eyes meet big brown ones. He gulps in a breath hoping to stay cool and puts on his nonchalant front before beginning to speak. 

“Harrington, you got my note. Let’s go!” 

He roughly claps the other on the back and leads him with his hand staying on his shoulder towards the back of the library with the plays. His grip is probably too tight, nevertheless his hand feels electrified by the touch. Billy walks in front and Steve follows him like a lost puppy. They head over to the shelves in the back, Billy rambling on about the play and it’s characters:

“ So it’s called ‘As you like it’ it’s a play or more specifically a comedy combined with pastoral aspects …”

They sit down across from each other and Billy slips Steve’s copy of the play in his direction. Meanwhile Steve zones out the moment these syllables enter Billy’s mouth and he starts to get distracted. So Billy tries explaining the meaning behind them and he believes that Steve gets the hang of it slowly. He continues explaining things like the plot, character and themes going on in the play, all the while Steve takes notes and attentively listens. 

All while talking he studies Steve’s face and the way his eyebrows shoot up when he's asking a question or when he doesn't get something, the way that his face scrunches up when he's confused. Billy wants to move closer, he wants to hold the other boys hand and whisper him sweet nothings. Steve asks him:

“What do you do besides read the entire english dictionary? You’re really interested in this, aren't you ? I can see the way you talk so passionately about it.” His eyes sparkle with curiosity expecting an answer. 

Billy didn't even notice his excessive talking, he was too distracted by slender fingers taking notes. When his concentration resurfaces he sees Steve half-smiling at him, so he mumbles out embarrassed:

“Uh …I dunno, I guess I just like reading and Shakespeare a bit.” He finishes awkwardly. 

Steve quietly laughs and looks up at him through his lashes with a shy gaze. So Billy answers his question, his voice seeming lower than before 

“I actually have a job, pretty boy. I work at my fathers mechanic shop, he says I gotta earn my own living.” 

Steve looks sympathetic, into ocean blue eyes trying to decipher what is behind them. 

“He sounds like a real hard ass if you ask me. Do you still have time for anything outside of work or school ? It’s a lot and you’re doing pretty good aren't you ? ‘Least from what i’ve heard. “

At that Billy blushes, because he must have talked to someone about Billy. A giddy feeling spreads in his stomach. He looks down and smiles. 

“You sure ask a lot of questions preppy. But I can't blame you, you've got all this free time and money from your old man to spend. Why do you think you could imagine anything about my life!” He challenges the other to strike back at him, he has to keep his distance, can’t come too close and get his emotions twisted up inside. So he resolves to fighting the other and pushing him away by insulting and spitting harsh words. 

“You know Billy, money is by far the least thing that counts. I get that it is difficult for you. I'm trying to put myself in your shoes. But man …” Resigned he leans back in his chair, sighs and continues with a slight tremor in his voice. “Things are rough all over. My parents only come home every few months and are either away on business or take vacations without me. So yeah I get it! My parents have money but I don't have them.” 

Now the brown-eyed boy looks down at his lap sadly and beaten down. Billy doesn't like it, he likes it better when he's smiling and flushed or irritated. Billy’s walls crumble, because he can’t stand to cause the other boy any kind of pain, he gets enough of that at home himself. He doesn't want to be like his father, who crushes everything he touches. Billy will make sure of his father will never come close to Steve. So he tries to make amends and stumbles over his words in his apology. 

“M’sorry Harrington, I-I mean…I didn't mean it like that. The way I see it you turned out pretty decent. You're even hanging with people from the wrong crowd, I’m sorry all right ?” 

“How did you meet that Robin girl anyway you seem way different from one another? You're so preppy and she is just not really.” He keeps rambling on to ease the tension between them. 

Under the table Billy moves his foot forward, so their toes touch a little and he glances at the other with apologetic eyes. Steve presses his foot back against Billy’s in the slightest.(maybe a sign of reconciliation, billy hopes.)

“She's in my math class and she's mad smart just like y…um it doesn't matter She’s one of the nicest people here, I’m so glad she hangs out with me, I would be so fucked if she wasn't my friend. You know why.” Steve looks at him with eyes full of reproach referring to the greasers. 

“You’re killing me Harrington please don’t look at me like that, these others wouldn’t get it, the books, the studying, that I want to make something of myself unlike my father thinks. But I have to keep up appearances I can’t be friends with a Soc and I-I mean what would everyone say? ” He hastily answers with worried eyes 

“Billy I don't want to work on a school project in secrecy, just tell your friends we have to do this, I would rather do this after school and eat my lunch here.” Steve rolls his eyes dramatically as he complains. Their shoes are still touching and he feels Steve move his leg even further towards him so their legs are impossibly closer to one another. 

Billy’s breath hitches, because the moment feels too intimate for the library in broad daylight with Mrs. Walker a few shelves away. They’re only touching with their lower legs yet time feels frozen. The light pressure of Steve leaning into the touch makes his head dizzy. Steve continues talking: 

“You think it would harm your reputation if you were friends with me? It’s not like I’m friends with the Soc’s, they ignore me. But I wanna try out for the basketball team, I think it’d be fun, cause y’know I was in the one back in New York.”

He doesn’t understand the arduous situation Billy is in because of his father. He doesn’t notice the way Billy’s eyes soften at the sight of him. He doesn't get the way Billy can’t just be friends or classmates, needs something more, something closer. Billy sighs with relent and figures out what to say to that as to not seem like too invested. Getting too close makes the opportunity for slip ups infinitely larger and he would get caught and revealed as a fairy. That’s his fathers personal favourite insult for Billy it hurts the most, because he knows it is true and at the same time makes him feel weak and insignificant. 

“Oh yeah I bet they'd let you play immediately. You’ll fit right in with them, being pretty and rich and all that .”Billy says nonchalant until he realises what he just said. He starts to panic. 

“Being what ?” Steve asks flustered, with a blush creeping up on his pale neck and ears. 

“Being preppy, what did you think ?” Billy pretends to be oblivious to his own slip up. 

“Nothing I thought I heard something else.” He shakes his head unsure and embarrassed. “What else do we need for the project ?” He tries diverting from the awkward moment and succeeds.  
They decide to keep reading over the play a little.They’re still touching with their legs underneath the table, passing shy looks when the other isn't looking. Billy feels a warmth spread right in the middle of his chest when he looks at Steve. 

The first bell just rung and the boys are packing up reluctantly still unmoving though. Still slightly touching with their feet neither daring to break the little contact. It must look ridiculous from the perspective of an outsider because Billy really has to reach with his arms because he spread out all of his stuff over the table but he doesn't move his leg. 

Steve clears his throat unsure how to begin.  
“ So is the weekend good for you or is next week better? I mean when are you free to work on the project.”

“I’ll have to see…, the old mans pretty strict about family time or some bullshit but I’ll work something out.” He winks at Steve. Then he gets up because he has to otherwise he’d never stop sitting there with Steve across the table looking at him. He says: “I’ll see you around pretty boy! “ and makes a move to head to the exit. 

But he doesn't even take a step until he feels a hand wrapping around his wrist in a swift movement lighting a spark under his skin. His eyes meet a hasty look and wide eyes. Then Steve is talking fast and urgently. 

“How will I reach you if you have time before next week ?” Billy can’t turn his eyes away from the slender hand on his wrist and absent-mindedly answers: 

“Um… I don’t know” He pauses too afraid to ask for Steve’s number so that he won’t seem too eager.  
Right when Billy stops talking, Steve fishes a pen out of his bag and takes the wrist he was holding just seconds ago and turns it over.

“ok here let me…” he trails off and Billy is so rapt up in the touch that he doesn't think about protesting, what he should do now. But he's so close to Steve that when he leans over to write on his arm, he can smell the expensive cologne he’s wearing. Mixed with something else he can’t figure out. Before Steve lets go, a finger is over his pulse point gently stoking over his wrist and then the touch is gone. Billy pulse is a hundred miles an hour and he's sure Steve must have felt it on his wrist.

“All done !” Steve exclaims with a shy smile and they walk to the exit. 

While passing by Mrs. Walkers’ desk Billy says goodbye to her and so does Steve out of politeness. 

In the hallway they glance at each other and Billy quickly says 

“Bye Harrington.” and leaves to his next class. The writing on his arm burning with excitement. 

He doesn't turn around but Steve’s eyes follow him until he turns the corner and is out of sight.


	7. boys don't cry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> something had happened right before they met ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to everyone who is reading this <3<3<3<3 I really appreciate it

Steve’s cheeks burn when they said goodbye. He’s running high on nerves because he gave Billy his number. In itself that is not a big deal, but he might have a “tiny” crush on the coolest guy in Hawkins, so it’s a pretty fucking big deal. He sighs while running an unsteady hand through his hair, which he spend at least half an hour styling today. With a spark in his eyes, he notices that it is not long until he’ll see the blonde again. 

When he heard of Billy’s enthusiasm for literature Steve was astonished, he hadn't expected for him to be such a bookworm. Warmth had settled in his whole body while listening to the deep and calming sound of Billy’s voice. Steve wonders what else the blonde is hiding in plain sight. He just seems so intriguing that Steve’s mind keeps getting stuck on him. 

Steve can’t help comparing himself to the other who looks just too good to be true, he's very muscular and not lanky at all like himself. In the locker room after gym his eyes wander to tanned abs and the golden glow that emerges from him nearly every time. Averting his eyes quickly has become a habit to not get caught snooping in the shower of all places. It’s bad enough that the greasers have it out on him, they don't need additional reasons to make him miserable. 

Steve is currently seated in his least favourite class of the day, who is drawing a caricature of the teacher on his poorly written history notes. It’s just so boring he thinks then he slumps his shoulders in disdain. He doesn't even have this class with any friends. But no! He has to sit there as the new kid all by himself and die from dullness.

Throughout the class his eyes dart back and forth between the clock and blackboard. He has to curb his excitement at meeting Billy. He wants to seem cool and chill when he meets the blonde today again.

So when class is coming to an end Steve has already packed all of his stuff up and is ready to get out his class a whole ten minutes before the bell rings. He can’t wait to see Billy again, he really has to get it together or he might as well have it written on his forehead how much of a crush he has on the guy. 

Some of his elated mood on this day has been because of tomorrow. It’s going to be the weekend which means he finally gets to sleep in. His parents are out of town for a meeting like always and he has the house to himself yet again. This time he doesn't feel as disappointed because that also means he isn't supervised and can smoke with Robin inside the house if they want to.   
He doesn't smoke weed often, yet if he does he likes to be comfortable and relaxed. So his parents absence is very welcome for once. If he's honest he never really feels the need for them around these days because it’s more lonesome in their cold company. Their tight lipped smiles and reserved emotions never slipping to the surface. On the occasion that they do come home they ask him empty questions, eyeing him as if they’re waiting for him to be finished talking. His father can’t even be bothered to ask him questions anymore and simply tells him to man up at every chance he gets. Steve doesn't understand why they behave like that, he knows they’re not happy and he knows they should get a divorce but are both too proud to get one. They settled for their business life of complacent unhappiness. 

He never wants to end up like them and sometimes he wonders wether he is actually their real son because he is vastly different from them. He wears his heart on his sleeve and isn't afraid of showing his feelings. He likes it that way because the distant atmosphere at home constricts his lungs, it makes his heart heavy in his chest, that is why he is so unlike them. 

On his way to the next class he is excited for the evening to smoke one up with Robin and head to the drive-in the next day. He can’t wait to make the world go fuzzy with alcohol and smoke. Forgetting worries or his parents disappointment in him in momentary bliss. 

While he wonders about the next day ahead of him he slips into fantasising about running his hands through dirty blond hair like James Dean’s in the movie. The shade reminds him of Billy’s hair, but it is the same haircut worn by all of the other greasers. After they jumped him a couple of times he felt like shit the rest of the day. The socs don't fuck with him at all, they mostly just ignore him because he is new. But at least they leave him out of their taunting. 

Steve still doesn’t feel like he belongs in either group, mostly because of his secret, which is locked away safely in his head and most likely will never be spoken out loud. He remembers their snarky remarks and menacing laughter and a shiver runs down his spine out of fear.

What probably also helps kept his tormentors at bay is being friends with Robin whose brother is part of that little gang in town. She could qualify as a greaser if it wasn't for her adamant want to not be associated with the friends of her brother. She despises the way they treat Steve and he is so thankful to have gained a friend in the short time he’s been in Hawkins. 

Mainly they leave him alone with some hard shoves here and there. But sometimes in the hiding spots where no pupils are there to witness they leave behind nasty bruised rips and a defeated Steve Harrington.

If the fights were one on one he is sure he could beat them, however they travel in packs and he rarely encounters them alone. Maybe they know they’d be too weak to take him on their own so they stay away. 

The most confusing part of the greaser mess is Billy’s ambivalent behaviour around Steve.   
One minute he's kind and helpful, the next he has this mixed look of hatred in his eyes and he keeps shoving Steve hard when his friends egg him on. He’s plans on find out about what his deal is soon enough.

His heart hammers in his chest that he fears everyone will just know by looking at him or by hearing the frantic beating of his heart. He feels stupid to like Billy because the other is an unreadable. He can’t help that he's nervous when he steps foot in the classroom. He diverts his eyes to the floor in an attempt to lessen any attention payed to him and seats himself in the uncomfortably tiny school desks. He quickly taps his foot nervously on the ugly floor of the room. His eyes are on the door even if the class doesn't start for another five minutes. Anxious that the other isn't coming into class today he takes out his notebook and begins drawing something just to control his twitchy hands.   
Without noticing he breathes out in relief when he spots strands of blonde hair, then blue eyes looking back at him seemingly in apathy. Steve’s good mood deflates a bit and he doesn't expect Billy to sit in the seat right next to him.He does sit next to Steve and at first he completely ignores him.

Mrs. Fletcher enters the classroom and tells the class to quiet down so she can start the lesson. Still no acknowledgement from the boy to his right and he is getting fed up with the hot and cold game of the other boy. He looks at Billy but his eyes are fixed on the teacher and the muscles in hi s are tensed up he can tell. Steve doesn't know what is bothering Billy so much, and is over finding out about it if the other doesn't even talk to him let alone about their joint project. 

Meanwhile their english teacher tells them to work on their partner projects so all of the groups can give her a rough outline of it at the end of the lesson on paper. Steve watches the commotion in the room while all students get into their respective groups of two. Sounds of chairs scraping the floor are hurting his ears and people shuffle to seats near their partners, it is messy get together of students just like all group projects are.   
It is not until all groups are immersed in their own chatter until Billy turns his head even remotely in his direction. So Steve feels annoyed and unconsciously pouts his lips with a grimace in his face. Billy quietly begins talking in a rough and husky voice. 

“Hi, so uhhm do you wanna continue working where we left off or …?” 

He trails off and looks Steve in the eyes for the first time since lunch and his eyes look so open and not at all withdrawn like he is when his friends are around. Steve gets whiplash from these changes. 

“oh so now you can talk to me after everyone else is distracted and too busy to look at you. This is ridiculous and you know it. This school project is not as big of a deal that anyone would care.” 

Steve rants a little bit and looses the point of his frustration, both are still seated next to each other like they’re not paired up. The only part showing that they're working together is the fact that their heads are slightly turned in each others direction while all the other people have pushed their seats closer together to work better. Billy looks taken aback by that reaction. Steve even imagines he can see a little guilt dancing round in those blue irises of his. Eyes deep blue like the sea in a storm distinctly different from two hours ago when they were clear pacific ocean blue. So bright that Steve couldn't look upon them, without his lungs burning from lack of air. 

Wordless Billy slides his desk closer to Steve and lightly nudges his bulky leather boot against Steve’s shoes, repeating the motion from the library. Steve meets his eyes again with a silent question sitting on his tongue. Both conveying something without sound, not knowing the right words to fit their situation. Both unsure about the others intent and desperate for anything solid they could cling onto. 

With a quick bobbing of golden locks Billy nods his head towards their opened notebooks on their desks and breaks their gaze with a hoarse voice. 

“Let’s get to it pretty boy!” and Steve doesn't want to feel flustered and blush like the room is on fire , but he does and has to suffer through it until his face gets back its normal colour.   
Steve clears his throat uncomfortably and averts his eyes to his notebook.

“Yeah, um… ok” He looks down at his page and then back up though his lashes at Billy curiously.   
They continue on working in palpable silence filled with unspoken thoughts …  
Class continues with short sentences and averted eyes roaming everything but the person in front of them. In the end Steve gets out just after a hurried Billy stood up abruptly and ran wordlessly out the door. 

…

Later that day when arrives at 4819 Cherry Lane Billy turns the key in the lock and throws them into the bowl in the doorway. 

Cherry Lane is the perfect house for the perfect happy family. A forefront to hide darkness behind closed doors.   
To the public the Hargrove Household with Billy’s perfect stepmother and her daughter Max seems like a happy four headed family. When everyone in that pretty picture is out of the house it is just Billy and his sad excuse for a father who beats the crap out of him. Nobody suspects anything because to them Billy is just violent trailer trash with a love for street fighting. The bruises, the cuts on his knuckles and hands, only feeding the rumours of him being a tough guy, nothing to worry about, covering the haunting sleepless nights in his room. 

So when he makes the mistake of throwing keys instead of putting them somewhere, noise occurs. However in the Hargrove household any noise he makes is considered disrespectful.

He’s always told that he does and says the wrong thing every time he opens his mouth. As if Neil was only there to punish him for existing and being his son. The yelling and the backhands he receives as a daily physical reminder of how much his dad doesn't care. He instantly spots beer bottles on the kitchen counter and the mixed stench of smoke and alcohol faintly fills the air. That means bad news for Billy because a drunk Neil Hargrove is infinite times worse than the regular. 

Susan must be out with Max at one of her friends houses. Most times when they're out of the house Billy prepares for the worst. Today sadly is no different. 

A bottle cracking, then drunken tumbling and feet shuffling slowly, a cold shiver runs down Billy’s back while he stays frozen in place. 

He hopes Neil just wants another beer, which is unlikely but still ….

His hope is crushed when he meets the icy blue eyes of hatred looking at him from ten feet away in the dining room. He's pierced with the glare of his drunken father pinning him to the spot.   
He slurs violently:

“Billy, where have you been-is past curfew!” 

Billy doesn't answer. 

“You been running around with some guy like a faggot, huh ?” he keeps digging. 

Drunken yells splitting directly to his heart, breaking piece by piece off. Although his speech is slurred hard eyes stare at Billy who is still standing directly by the door. 

His room is just a couple feet away, if he'd been quiet he could've prevented this. So stupid of him to be so careless, he really wanted to avoid a beating today of all days. It’s gonna be real tough to explain the bruises at the passion pit. He’ll have to think of some glorious story when he's asked about it. 

Right now though thats the least of his problems. Stumbling feet are coming towards him. He is caged against the door. He's backing up until his back is pressed to the yellow door. His father steps in close to him, faces only inches apart and straightens his back. He's drawing himself up to his full height, now towering over Billy, who feels just like a little kid again powerless and defenceless. 

His father smacks him across the cheek and sluggishly yells at him: 

“Such a disappointment, can’t do an easy thing right! One thing I ask of you, just one thing and you're so useless that you can’t even do that!” 

A mean stare follows and he chuckles darkly. The Hand at Billy’s throat presses down, slowly cutting off his oxygen flow into his lungs. 

He’s pressed into the door handle and it hurts. The physical hurt barely registers, yet his heart is growing heavy, colder with every cuss, every scream or ill-affected laugh falling from his mouth.  
Eyes never leaving Billy’s he raises his unoccupied fist and slams it right into his ribcage which would topple Billy over if he weren't grasped tightly at the throat.

crack

another hit to his stomach

everything hurts

His father lets go of his throat. Quickly replaces the feeling with another hit to the stomach. 

“No, I was at work right after school.” Billy croaks out, now gasping for air. He’s hoping his pain will lessen if he complies with his fathers interrogation. 

Another hit to his face this time with the fist, splitting up his brow in bloody anger. Unshed tears blur his vision.

“Don’t lie to me boy I’ve seen you loitering around the gas station many times! And what have I taught you?”

Wild yelling shuts Billy up and he’s kicked again. This time so hard that he falls to the floor holding his ribs, trying to protect them from further harm. 

“Respect and responsibility, Sir.” Billy replies motionless. 

Helpless on the floor he cries out in pain while a shoe makes contact with his stomach. Kicked and down his father laughs, he’s enjoying this. Billy wants to curl up and die. This is bad, he thinks, he’s only five minutes over curfew. Normally that’s okay, guess today is not his lucky day. 

“I can’t hear ya boy!” keeps digging in the knife in Billy’s heart. 

“Respect and responsibility, Sir.” Billy repeats this time louder with a slightly trembling voice. 

“That’s right, Respect and Responsibility.” His father affirms. 

Billy almost breathes out relieved because it seems like his father is letting him off. But then his head is kicked harshly. The last thing he sees is the dirty old rubber sole of his fathers shoe. 

Then he's gone and he doesn't need to feel the hurt anymore.   
No pain, no insults. 

Just the quiet of an unconscious mind. 

…

Meanwhile Robin and Steve are at his house rolling the fourth joint of the evening. High as kites they eat chips while watching a movie. They sit in front of the couch legs spread out before them, both laughing about something on the screen that really wasn't that funny. Still they scream and laugh in delight.  
Backs relaxed and resting against the couch. Suddenly Steve feels super hungry. 

Shining eyes turn to Robins and he begins talking in a muted voice. 

“Hey Robin ? … You wanna- you wanna like get some… uhh… food? ” 

She smiles and says just as dazed.

“Duh dingus, oh my god you know what I want?” a small pause probably for dramatic effect, then:

“Cheese puffs !” She says and widens her eyes excitedly, then giggles a bit. 

“I want some Twinkies and chips with cheese whiz !” Steve is just as enthusiastic about it as Robin. Both are looking at each other mischievous eyes glinting.

“Lets go to the gas station! The shop there is open 24/7 right? ” His voice is higher than before lit up by excitement. 

He stumbles to his feet puts on his shoes.   
He can’t do it right, puts the left shoe on the right foot and vice versa. He pulls his pullover on in a hurry and then turns to robin who is still sitting completely unbothered on the carpet of the living room. Steve looks at her infuriated and throws her the jeans jacket and her leather shoes. 

“C’mon I’m starving, please !”

She doesn't move a muscle and looks at him with her big eyes, begging silently not to go. 

“Steve I don’t want to get up. I can’t even do it, look!” 

She complains like a child and pretends to try and move her arm without success. Afterwards she looks at him like a kicked puppy and he relents. 

“Okay, then no one goes and we starve. I’m really craving those Twinkies though.” He replies just as petulantly and mourns after the snacks. 

Suddenly Robin jumps up and points her finger in the air like she has a great idea. 

“What if you go to the store and I stay here?” She says it like an epiphany and not a really lazy attempt to make Steve go alone. But Steve really wants those snacks right now so he considers this for a long moment. 

He specifically wants to eat Twinkies and thats sadly it’s the only thing he doesn't have in his pantry filled with expensive but stale things. And he sure as hell isn't dragging Robin along when she’ll just be a dread weight holding him back from eating those snacks as soon as possible. 

Steve copies the move with the pointed finger and lowers his hand pointing at Robin in a proposition. 

“All right, but under one condition. I’ll go, but only if you're still awake when I come back. Deal ?” 

“Deal” Robin replies immediately with gratitude and a big smile on her face. 

…

He is way too high to drive but that doesn't stop him from getting in his car to drive to the store by the gas station instead of walking the whole 10 minutes. He’s out of the driveway before he can think about causing an accident. The drive is filled with music and the blissful quiet of his inebriated mind. On the radio he listens to a song he’s heard a million times and it’s way too mushy and dramatic for his taste. He likes music you can dance to and not just sway from side to side in a trance. But maybe he just doesn’t like slow dancing cause he never had someone to dance with. 

As his car comes to a halt in the parking area, the gravel in the driveway crunches under rubber tires. He rubs his tired eyes suddenly in the mood for a nap, then he heaves his heavy limbs out of the car and into the cold autumn air. He pulls his arms up and hugs himself because of the cold. He regrets only bringing his thin pullover and not a more appropriate coat. 

When he enters the store an overheated gush of dry air makes contact with his face and he feels too hot and uncomfortably stuffy.   
So he heads over to the snack aisle and roams around looking for his beloved Twinkies. 

Being high while grocery shopping is not a perfect combination, mostly because you'll fill up the shopping cart to the brim with things you don't need. Thats the reason Steve is now wandering around the aisles putting everything he likes in the filling cart. 

…

Just 5 blocks down from the store, in which Steve is fighting the urge to buy every edible item in there, Billy regains consciousness. Unsteady and with immense suffering he tries to gather himself up. His left hand lifting up to hold his throbbing head lightly. He tries to see straight however his vision is blurry and unclear. He can almost feel the bile rising in his throat when he remembers that his father is less than two rooms away. Overwhelming nausea is hinders him from moving any further for a minute. 

Being in this house any longer is unbearable, however he prefers not getting beat right now. He doesn't know if he would survive it. 

“Boy you better get me some more beers or ’m not gonna go easy on you next time!”

The strict voice of his father fills the empty space him and the living room. Billy is glad to have an opportunity to get out of the house. 

“Yes Sir!” he says quickly hoping his father doesn't change his mind. 

He gets up battered and feels around in the bowl for the right set of keys. Successful he grabs them and walks out the door before closing it quietly to not piss off his father further. 

A blinding headache spreads through his temples and he sways on his walk to the car. 

He feels nauseous and super tired. A concussion is the worst thing that could happen, he won’t be able to play basketball if it’s too severe. 

His eyes slowly fill with tears and he doesn't want to cry, he also wants to do anything but driving right now. 

…

At the cash register Steve loads his food on the checkout counter with slow hands. He lazily grins at the cashier who looks at him bored and doesn't pay his unusual behaviour any mind. Finally all of his groceries are rung up and he walks out the door with his cart pack all of it in the trunk. Afterwards he plans on filling his car up at the gas station next door just to be sure he’ll get home. 

He leans over his shopping cart lightly and begins loading the many groceries into the trunk of his car. Suddenly he hears tires screeching on the asphalt in the distance at quite the tempo for the time of day, so he curiously looks down the street to see who’s driving so loudly. 

Then a blue shimmery car comes into view. It’s driving in wavy lines, he thinks it looks like the driver is drunk. But what can he say, he probably looks the same from an outside perspective.   
When the car comes to a halt directly next to his, he looks over at the driver and his breathing starts to uneven, while he staggers at the sight. 

It’s Billy !

And he looks like a real mess with an eyebrow split open and bruises littering his pretty face.

Usually Billy is so smug and confident with a dangerous glint in his eye, but at the moment he seems barely hanging on. He’s so dejected Steve is speechless and forgets the gas pump running. 

Steve drops the Twinkies he bought to the floor with a loud smack. 

Bloodshot eyes meet crystal blue ones.  
Hastily Steve stumbles to pick the snacks back up, while a dazed Billy sits motionless in the carseat. 

His left eyebrow is split and blood is running down his cheek while the purple and blue colours of bruises blossom over his cheeks. Steve wants to reach out and wipe away tear tracks obvious on the blondes cheeks. But he doesn't because they are not that close and straight guys don't usually cradle each others cheeks, so he refrains.   
Steve breaks the silence first stumbling over the words as he tries to find the right ones. 

“What the fuck Hargrove? What happened to you?” 

He asks shocked and somewhat unsure considering Billy hasn't made any motion in wanting to talk to him or even acknowledge he's seen the other. 

“Nothing! An-and you won’t tell anyone or I’ll swear…” Billy says hurried and anxiously looks around. 

He trails off and looks down at his hands. Still hunched over he makes a move to open his car door, he winces out in pain as Steve takes a step forward, wanting to help. Billy rises from the leather seat in his car to his full height, he is smaller than Steve but usually his attitude is so present that no one notices he isn't actually that tall.   
Then he says: 

“What’s it to you anyway? We’re not friends, so why should you care ?”

He huffs out annoyed and looks in the opposite direction from Steve, who is still very stoned and currently sways on the spot. 

“I-I dunno thought I could help you maybe ?” 

He says dumbly and fiddles with his hands awkwardly. His big brown eyes look at Billy with a curious glint and Billy notices they’re glazed over. He doesn't seem all there, just like Billy himself, but in a good way. He knows Steve’s behaviour, has seen it load of times on himself when he’d smoked too much at a party. He lets out a laugh thats harsh around the edges, but his eyes are shining in curiosity.   
Then he speaks out in disbelief: 

“I’d have never taken you for a stoner pretty boy! The goody two shoes rich boy is a pothead” he shakes his head with a small grin.   
Though Billy is in such bad shape and looks injured, Steve gets lost in the deep ocean blue of his eyes and find him so utterly fascinating. So fascinating that he can’t help himself when lets his worry slip out:

“Don’t try to change the subject Hargrove! What happened to you? You look like shit? ”

“Gee thanks I thought I looked nice today. Way to make a guy feel good about himself Harrington.” The reply comes almost instantly served with a sharp tongue and glint in his eye.

Steve is getting fed up with this back and forth and makes way for the petrol pump, takes the hose out of his car carelessly and closes the gas cap. Expectant he turns around still waiting or an explanation of why Billy looks like he was just dragged through hell and ended up here out of all places. 

“Listen I get it if you don't want to talk about whatever happened. I get it, I really do, but you’ve gotta go to the hospital or something. You could have a concussion for fucks sake!” 

Steve is getting riled up out of worry for the other, but he shouldn't because it is really none of his business. Yet he rakes his hand through his brown locks and bites anxiously on his lower lip. He looks at Billy hoping for something, anything that tells him the guy will be okay. He is met with sad eyes hardened by fear, afraid to let anyone see inside for too long. Billy averts his eyes from their intense stare. 

“It’s nothing really. Nothing you could help me with anyway, but you could give me one of those. His trembling hand motioning to the cigarette in Steve’s hand, he raises his eyebrows in a question. 

Steve fiddles round in his back pocket and fishes out the crumpled cigarette pack. Then he steps closer to Billy and gives him one. Billy doesn't remember if he’d brought his lighter in all the hurry to get away from Neil and before he can protest Steve leans forward to light up his cigarette. He lets him, likes the way the brunette cups his hand around the end to protect it from the wind. Electricity builds between the both of them almost touching but never really meeting. 

His throat feels tight and he clears his throat breathlessly.

“Thanks. I really appreciate it. But I’ve gotta head in. I’ve gotta buy some beer” Something in his voice seems off to Steve, he nods slowly. Billy is standing in front of him still smoking the rest of the cigarette, somehow it doesn't seem like he wants to leave Steve. 

“You should buy some antiseptic spray for the cut over your eye too.” Steve gives him a meaningful look and lights up another cigarette while looking at the vacant parking lot. 

The noise of heavy boots limping to the entrance leaving behind a silence filled by late summer nights smell and unanswered questions. Slowly Steve is beginning to come down from his high, though he cant bring himself to just drive off now that his tank is full and a hurt Billy Hargrove is in the store looking like he does, probably feeling like he looks with no one to make sure he will be okay.

So Steve opens his door and sits down. Legs dangling over the edge he eyes the entrance with rapt attention.   
The fact that Robin is at home waiting for him has completely slipped his mind for the time being.

...


End file.
